Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Mon Dieu!

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death

Just the other day I decided to take the scenic route home in the evening. Rather than zipping home on the highway, I meandered along the back country roads, mooed at some cows, and generally enjoyed the breeze and the sway of the trees. The journey was lovely and relaxing but for one blemish--the endless stream of churches. There are loads of them along the way, but one church message board particularly caught my eye; it mentioned the usual schedule for Sunday service, but added this vapid pearl of pseudo-wisdom, "BOWED KNEES SAVE FAMILIES". Firstly, it is difficult to take anything seriously that has been written to rhyme. Secondly: Huh? Are they really trying to say that the way to help mankind--to save the world--to ease suffering is to talk to their invisible mutual friend? It's such a ridiculously trite sentiment that I can't understand how anyone could express it without being nauseated. This particular church is essentially saying, "Don't worry about volunteering or service work. Just pray to G-d to make it all better. Think happy thoughts and your work is done here". It is absolutely appalling for anyone who sees a point to the conservation of humanity to say that they're just going to sit on their asses and hope things get better. They're going to to feel self-righteous for having wished for sunshine and daisies? That's their strategy?

On a more lighthearted note:


Wednesday, June 25, 2008

IT'S A SIGN!

I know one oughtn't take photos while behind the wheel of an automobile, but this one had to be done! I was driving home from Build-a-Bear--- more on that later--- when I saw a street sign that was more than a street sign. It was, in my opinion, a clear indication of my future.


Yes! University of Edinburgh here I come!!!

Admittedly, I also drove past Glasgow St. and I have no intention of going to the University of Glasgow...


So. Build-a-Bear. I went there for the first time, today, at the age of 17.58. I didn't actually build a bear, but I advised Kat on the naming and accessory selection of hers. She is a long-time Build-a-Bear patron, and seems to know everything there is to know about the fuzzy critters. If you've not been there before, this is how it works:
  • Walk in.
  • Coo at the little un-stuffed animal shapes (bears, elephants, koals, dogs)
  • Pick up each one and compare fuzziness
  • Once a particular animal has been chosen, look at its smile--- some have creepy ones
  • Having selected a non-pedo animal (we'll say Koala), walk on to the next section
  • Look at all the little voice boxes and decide that making it talk is kind of creepy
  • Don't get a voice box no matter how sweetly it sings 'Happy Birthday'
  • Take your Koala bag (for that is what it is) on to an employee at a stuffing machine
  • Become mesmerized by the wildly cartwheeling fluff
  • Pick up one of the little embroidered hearts and follow employee instructions
    • Jump up & down
    • Let out a primal roar
    • Kiss the heart
    • Put the heart in your freshly stuffed bear
  • Decide on a name-- preferably something foreign
    • Guillermo
    • Francois
    • Jacques
    • Parminder
    • Jean-Claude
    • Alain
    • Gerard
    • Sebastiano
  • Give your newly sewn bear a 'bath' with 'water' and a 'scrubber' (MAKE-BELIEVE!)
  • Pick out your Koala's clothing from innumerable racks of PJs and motorcycle jackets
  • Go to one of the computer stations and print out a nice little birth certificate
  • Giggle at the cash register
  • Walk out satisfied.