Parsnips-a-Plenty

I know that one ought to only have righteous rage regarding the important issues in life: injustice, violence, and poverty should make us angry, but at the moment, I'm quite angry about veg. I hate parsnips, turnips, and celery with a fiery and all-consuming passion. I've always felt this way, but the soup I'm desperately trying to eat at the moment has brought it to the front of my consciousness.

Parsnips and turnips are similar in that they both have miserable flavors and textures--they're like horrible imitations of potatoes that simply haven't got it right. They are the rubbish covers of Beatles songs of the vegetable world. They're somewhat similar in appearance to the real thing, and if you're not paying attention, you might be fooled, but ultimately they're an unpleasant surprise. There is nothing worse at the dinner table than biting into what you thought was a lovely potato and discovering it to be none other than the dreaded parsnip.
There is no situation where someone could hand you a parsnip, and you could not say, "Hey-- lemme do ya one better: here's a potato!" Parsnips, however, have one redeeming trait: they are the subject of one of my favorite idioms:

"Fine words butter no parsnips."

World Wide Words has an interesting discussion of the origins of this expression here.

On the topic of celery, which is a vile form of veg if I ever unintentionally ate one, I can only say this: there are two kinds of people in the world--people who hate celery, and people who cannot taste celery. If you complain about celery, non-celery-detesting-people invariably claim that it has no taste. They are horribly wrong: I can genuinely smell it from the other side of a room, and it is instantaneously recognizable in any sort of a soup, stew, or salad. Apart from it's polluting flavor, it has a shockingly disgusting texture that ought to put any right-thinking person off their food for several days!

How do people consume these horrifying vegetables? I do not know.

ROBOTIC BEINGS RULE THE WORLD!

I love robots.  I can't help it.  But really, who doesn't?  They permeate our culture-- we read books about robots, write songs about robots, draw robots, make movies about robots, and build real robots.  We're fascinated by these creations that are so like us, but so unlike us.  Although they tend to fall into a farcical troupe of pirates, ninja, samurai etc, I would contend that there's something more serious at work here.  Robots are an avenue for us to discuss what humanity means.  Stay with me-- all the drama that we write regarding robots centers on the distillation of what we think makes us different from other animals and from our beloved computers.  We exist at a strange intersection between the primal and the logical, and we seek out a third source that pulls it all together.  We're looking for the 'soul'-- that strange and ethereal concept that theologians and laymen alike are so fond of bringing up.  It is a magical essence that has no physical indication of presence, and we are adamant that it must exist, or else... how are we special?  We MUST be special! 

 

H'anyway...  although I'm certainly willing to believe that there's more to the universe than modern science can detect or quantify, I'm NOT willing to buy into this tripe about spirits and souls.  In other words: Awa' an' bile yer heid religion!

O.K.  I'll admit: that's really not where I thought this was going.  

Robots.  

I've made a video about the day when robots take the earth back from us.  I was looking at my robot playlist (yes.  I have a robot playlist), when I thought, "Y'know what would be fantastic?  Yes, self, I do know.  How about a robot video?!"  It's to the tune of Yoshimi Battles the PInk Robots (part 1).  I'll post it soon!

Robot Playlist:

• Fight Test -- The Flaming Lips
• One More Robot/Sympathy 3000-21 -- The Flaming Lips
• Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots (part 1) -- The Flaming Lips
• Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots (part 2) -- The Flaming Lips
• Robots -- Flight of the Conchords
• The Robots -- Kraftwerk
• Mr. Roboto -- Styx

FRESH ART! COME GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT!

O.K. -- Not all of it is exactly fresh, but it's still damn hot! I've got a lot of my work up on picasa. It isn't well photographed, but it's there. Some of it will probably end up in my portfolio, but I'm in the process of decided what shows off my skills to best advantage. Many of them are still works in progress, so any suggestions/advice = WELCOME.

Check it out:

Latest
Still Pretty Recent
Destined to Get the Family Farm

Here's a little enticing preview:

^--- 'Blue Dancer', a sculpture @ the NCMA in Raleigh

The Fall

When I was little, I watched movies differently. I was entirely removed from the characters and their emotions; the most soul-crushingly sad film had no effect on me, and I derided those who 'got weepy', but I have begun to slide down the slippery slope towards emotional connection with films. I was reminded of the demise of my sarcastic inner child the other day at the Galaxy Cinema where 'The Fall' was showing. It was fantastic. It blended the drug-addled grime of 'Trainspotting', the magical realism of 'Pan's Labyrinth', and the sheer fun of 'The Princess Bride'. It is less focused on the linear, action-driven plot, and more on the style, artistry, and emotion--leaving the theatre, I was less interesting in tearing at plot holes than trying to preserve the beautiful, haunting images and transitions. It had a slightly art-house feel, yet it had a sufficient sense of humor established in the story sequences to avoid taking itself too seriously.

All the reviews of 'The Fall' that I've seen complain about the emphasis on style over plot, which, quite frankly, ticks me off. Why can't a film tell emotional truth rather than factual truth? 'The Fall' absolutely enthralled everyone in the theatre, and we were not merely oohing and aahing over the costumes (which were, by the way, fantastic). We were deeply invested in the interpersonal relationships. We cared about what conclusions they would come to, and what those conclusions would mean for the rest of us. It takes a lot to gain the trust of an audience to the point a which they are willing to listen to what you have to say about life. Anyone can hit viewers over the head with the ultimate meaning of their story, but it requires much more effort to get them to listen and take it seriously.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is this: films are not all created for the same purposes, and cannot all be judged in the same way.

Anyway...I like it...